


It's Quiet Here

by sharingoxygenwithyou



Category: The White Queen (TV)
Genre: F/M, This hurts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-20 11:50:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11920293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharingoxygenwithyou/pseuds/sharingoxygenwithyou
Summary: After Ned's death, Anne moves back to the North at Middleham to try and start a new life, far away from politics and court.





	It's Quiet Here

Anne doesn't feel alive anymore. She lives as if she's only moving with the tides of life like she's sleepwalking in a haze and she can't do anything about it. From the moment they ran into Ned's bedchamber and saw his body on the bed, she felt all senses disappear and life was nothing more than a mist. For first three days after his death, all she could do was cry.

A fortnight after Ned's funeral, she still kept to herself, even when coaxed by Richard. She didn't speak nor ate enough, barely leaving the bed. Even when he bedded her for the first time since their only child's death. She laid there with him on top of her, numb to the world and her surroundings. Both found no pleasure in the act. They were just doing their conjugal duties to produce an heir.

It was a week later when Anne decided to move back to Middleham. She wanted to stay far away from court and its politics.

Richard agreed without a word because in truth he understood. He too wanted to stay away from the toxic people surrounding him, yet he stayed in London for his duties as the king didn't stop even when his marriage was falling apart. The threat of Tudor's invasion grew stronger and stronger each day, with the number of his supporters growing even faster. No, being king was something he fought too hard for just to give it away to a pretender, even if he would rather be by Anne's side.

He wrote her letters constantly, letters that he'd written this himself and not just dictated to a scribe. The letters are constant and tell her all the things she needed to know, sometimes even more. She read about how the Tudor invasion was going. How spies told him that the number of his men are far greater than Tudor's. Richard also shares his trepidation about the war and the inkling inside of him about Thomas Stanley's loyalty. He was notorious for being a turncoat after all. Anne hardly responded, and when she did, the letters are short, mostly just small trivial responses.

It had been months since Anne left, they grew distant, it was inevitable but Richard still kept writing. Even on the eve of his battle with Tudor.

* * *

 

Richard and his men won. Tudor's army was greatly outnumbered and the battle had been in favor of the York's sun.

Anne read about it in one of his letters, of course, Anne had been on her knees in the chapel during the battle. Praying to God, to Mary and to all the Saints that Richard would win and when she received word of his victory, she found herself in tears of relief. Richard was alive. Her husband was alive.

He said in one of his letters that he would be coming to Middleham soon and Anne instantly grew nervous. Her hand went to the small bump on her belly. He would soon find out.

Richard finally visited Anne at Middleham five nights after the battle, and after spending months away from her, he couldn't help feeling a sense of jubilation at the thought of being with her again, even though her letter were cold and short.

* * *

  
The trumpets were loud and the sound of the bells as he rode into Middleham was deafening but as he crossed the drawbridge into Middleham castle, his eyes instantly searched for Anne and found her waiting for him at the top of the stairs in the courtyard.

  
His eyes grew wide when he saw Anne's stomach. She was with child.

Anne spent countless moments expecting what would be Richard's reaction when he found out, yet out of all the reactions she imagined, she would never think one of them was anger. And yet as his dismounted his horse and gave the reins to a servant, his face and eyes were clouded with a look that she had only seen a handful of times. It was the same look on his face when he found out it was Hastings, a once loyal member of the House of York, was conspiring against his life.

Anne had been terrified of him in that moment. And her body stilled, her hand going to her bulging stomach as Richard approached her up the stairs.

"Come," He gestures for them to go inside the castle without even giving her a look of acknowledgment.

Anne simply nodded and followed him in.

* * *

 

They share a private dinner in Anne's apartments. The servants prepared all of the King's favorites at the request of Anne and they sit alone, quietly chewing on their food as they sat across from each other at the table. Richard noticed how Anne had them cook roast lamb, something that she wasn't fond of before, but he guessed it was a craving due to the pregnancy. A pregnancy that he only found out mere hours ago.

"How long have you known?" Anne has been expecting these words since she read his letter informing her of his visit.

  
"A month after I arrived," She took a quick sip of wine from her goblet before continuing, "I consulted a midwife. She confirmed my suspicions."

  
"You should have told me." He said pointedly.

  
"I tried." Her voice was leveled as if she was calculating her each response. "I tried every time when I help a piece of a quill, but I just couldn't do it. Why does it matter? It changes nothing."

"How could you say that?" His eyes grew wide at her words, his hands meeting the table, making a loud crash of sound. "It changes everything, Anne."

Anne dropped her utensils, her eyes pointed at him and her voice sharp.

"Why? Because now you have a possible heir?" Her words were accusing. "And what if it's a girl? What if it dies in my womb? This changes nothing, Richard!"

Taken back by her outburst, he lowered his voice. "Anne -"

"Why are you here, Richard?" Her voice was still sharp yet lower as if it was about to crack.

Richard's eyes softened at her words. "I'm here for you."

"Truly? Are you?" She asked in disbelief, her tone bitter.

"Anne, I need you."

Richard stood up and made his way to her, placing a hand on her shoulder as she looked up at him. Anne's eyes held no warmth in them, only showed her anger. Yet, he knew that deep inside how he hurt her. All he wanted was to ask penance for his wrong doings and to heal their marriage. Why couldn't she see that?

"Yet at the times I needed you, you were with her."

Taking a deep breath, he kneeled in front of her, taking both of her hands and holding them close in his as he spoke, "Tell me, what must I do to earn your forgiveness?"

Anne was always a vocal person, more than would normally be accepted by others, yet she still spoke what was on her mind. But in that moment, she lost her voice. She had no more words to say to him, her throat dry. It was a strange feeling, yet she knew deep inside that she would soon grow used to it. Even with a million thoughts in her mind, she couldn't say one.

She pulled her hands away and stood up so abruptly, making the wooden chair fall to the floor with a thud, surprising Richard himself as he stood as well. Their eyes met and for a moment Anne just stared at him, not believing that this was the man she fell in love it. She couldn't help but think what they have done in their lives and what it brought them. What they did to deserve this.

Without a word, she turned and walked away from him.

* * *

 

Richard didn't know how to express how much he wanted her and only her. How he wanted to share every day of his life with you, how to tell her that he would gladly burn in the flames of hell just to see her happy and that without her, he felt lost.

They sleep in separate chambers. Something both weren't accustomed to since they always slept in Anne's chambers when they were still just the Duke and Duchess of Gloucester. Richard twist and turn in his beds, not used to the presence of Anne's body next to him, sometimes when he woke in the middle of the night, it was her who soothed him back to sleep with back rubs.

She was the only one besides his physician to touch his back. Unmoved by his curved spine. He was nervous during their wedding night, unsure of how she would react but she didn't flinch, didn't gasp in shock. She simply smiled at him and traced the curves of his back with gentle hands. He could feel her fingers trembling but it quickly went away when he kissed her. She grew surer of herself and soon, the burning need inside of them were satisfied. They were truly man and wife.

There was no replacing Ned, the surge of happiness both shared when the midwife confirmed Anne's pregnancy, the feeling of his first movement inside of her stomach, the overwhelming sense of love when they first saw him, but there was also no replacing the pain of losing their only son. No, there would be no words to express the ache they felt in their bodies.

But with the growing babe in Anne's belly, surely this was a sign from God that they did something right in their lives.

* * *

 

Things had definitely changed and it could never be the same again.

Anne laid in her bed, her hand gently caressing her belly. Her confinement would start soon and Richard would be leaving for London by the time the child would come. She hardly slept in peace, even though the physicians told her that this was bad for the well-being of her child, and even if she closed her eyes for hours, sleep still averted her.

And when she finally does find the comfort of sleep, she doesn't dream. It's always just darkness.

But not tonight.

_"Mama." The voice was familiar, Anne thought as she frantically searched where it was coming from. It was small, almost like it was from a distance._

_"Ned?" Her voice was soft, as she walked down a path of fallen leaves. She could hear the leaves beneath her feet crunch as she walked, the wind blowing by making her white shift sway and move to its direction. The voice kept calling her over and over again until it wasn't just a whisper or a murmur anymore and Anne was so certain that it was Ned. Her child._

_She walked to the edge of the meadow, the soft green grass beneath her feet slowly turned into sand, the ocean in front of her, the cool air kissed her skin as it sent a shiver down her spine._

_"Mama," The voice said from behind her and she turned and saw him. Ned. He stood in the middle of the field, with his mess of black hair and blue eyes. He resembled his father so much when he was young that Anne's heart cracked a little._

_She quickly made her way to him and engulfed him in a tight hug. Her voice was muffled as she spoke, "Oh, Ned."_

_She couldn't control her tears as she held him again._

_"I'm still here, Mother." He murmured. "I'll take care of you and Father. I promise. Just give him another chance. "_

_"What?"_

_"Father is truly sorry and you should forgive him." His words confused Anne. "It's the best for Edmund."_

_"Edmund?"_

_Ned's hand went to bulge on his mother's stomach and Anne realized he was referring to the unnamed_ babe _in her womb._

_"My boy." She couldn't help but hug him again, giving a kiss on his cheek. "My Ned. I'll do anything to be with you again."_

_"Don't," Ned answered quickly, surely. "I'll always be here with you, Mama but Papa needs you."_

_Ned hugged his mother before kissing her on the cheek, "I need to go now."_

_Before Anne could say anything, Ned turned back and a light appeared from above and he gave her one final smile before walking into the light._

* * *

 

Anne woke with a start and a sharp pain in her stomach, she felt something wet and screamed so loudly that one of her ladies-in-waiting came bursting through the door. The baby was coming early. Almost a month early. It was too soon.

The chamber was filled with maids accompanying the midwife as Anne screamed, her body holding onto a thread as she gave one final push before cries echoes in the room.

"It's a boy!" Cried a midwife as she cleaned the small babe.

She wrapped the baby in cloth before handing it over to Anne. She had given Richard another son.

Richard was informed immediately by a servant that the Queen's baby was coming early and that the midwife said that she might not survive. He gave the servant a nod before making his way to the chapel, on his knees he prayed.

* * *

 

Richard was allowed into the room after four hours of Anne going into labor. The room was cleaned and Anne was in a fresh white night gown, but he still could smell the blood in the room. Anne's blood. He saw her sitting up on the bed, with a small bundle in her arms - a smile on her lips - Richard heart couldn't help but swell at the sight.

"My Edmund," Anne whispered before placing a sweet kiss on the baby's forehead.

"Edmund?" Richard came to her side, tentative and unsure how Anne would react to his presence.

"Your son, Richard." She presented him little Edmund.

"Hello, little one," Richard said, giving Anne a small kiss on the forehead, the gesture almost like an instinct, before holding his son. "Aren't you a precious little thing?"

Anne watched Richard coo at their child and for a moment, she felt a small wave of relief. She felt her eyelids turn heavy and soon she closed her eyes.

* * *

  
It was a month after Anne gave birth to Edmund and Richard had extended his stay at Middleham. Allowing himself some time with his family and to heal the cracks in his marriage.

They walk in the gardens of Middleham Castle, their arms linked together as they breathed in the fresh air and watched the sky swim through the day, she was somehow by his side. There was still a wall between them, one that moved everywhere they went, and one that showed itself constantly, but they were walking together.

"It's quiet here." Anne said softly, "So peaceful."

"Ned loved playing in the gardens," Richard commented, the memory held a special place in his heart.

"I'm sure Edmund would too when he's old enough." Anne looked at him and gave him a soft smile. Something she hasn't done in a long time.

The wall between them slowly began to fall with each shared moment in the garden. They don't pretend to understand the pain that they went through over the year spent apart but what mattered was their time together. Beyond it all, there was a promise of more. But for now, they were contented in being in each other's arms.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: sharingoxygenwithyou.tumblr.com


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